Bobby Scribe over at LA Kings News beat me to the punch, but since I already had my own plan in my mind, I’ll go ahead and share it…
So here’s the deal. We can virtually will the Kings to victory tomorrow if we all pull together and make this happen. It will take an epic effort by fans, the Kings organization and the crew at Staples, but it can be done.
10 things you can do to guarantee a Kings victory
1. First and foremost, we must all root for the Sharks. This means from this point forward, we are Sharks fans. We love them. We love San Jose and we especially love Ryan Clowe. He’s the best.
2. Fans must wear their favorite Sharks jersey tomorrow at Staples. We must dress Gretzky’s statue in teal. We must welcome our fellow Sharks fans to Staples and thank them for making the trip to Sharks-South Arena.
3. The team store needs to be filled with Sharks gear and give it all away to fans as they enter.
4. Every Kings fan who shows up must be hassled and threatened with bodily harm (it’s important we emulate our northern friends accurately).
5. When the Sharks come on the ice, we all stand and cheer. The Staples crew must erect a giant Shark jaw to honor our beloved team and allow them to enter the arena in grand fashion. When the Kings come on the ice after the huge build up, we must welcome them with thunderous boos.
6. When the “Sucks Cheer” plays, don’t forget to end it with, “LA Sucks!”
7. Bailey must be sacrificed and eaten by a live shark between periods. Patrick O’Neal must publicly declare himself a Sharks fan for life. Bob and Jim must wear spongy shark-jaw hats the entire broadcast.
8. Regardless of how many goals the Sharks score, we must taunt Quick with a relentless “Quiii-iiick! Quiii-iiick!” And the men’s bathroom stalls must be adorned with Quick’s baby face for all to pee on. And while you’re relieving youself, say out loud, “Go Sharks Go!”
9. The extremely cool and clever “shark’s mouth” that fans create with their arms must be performed regularly to the tune of Jaws.
10. And last but not least, every time Drew Doughty touches the puck, boo his ass louder than you’ve ever booed before.
If we do all of this and more, we will have successfully created a road game for the Kings right here in Los Angeles. What better way to show your loyalty to the Kings than to sacrifice everything you hold dear in order to help this team win.
I told you you weren’t gonna like it.
Waves,
Some of us are going to try to meet at the Gretzky statue before the game between 5:15 and 5:30. Come early so we can get a few drinks in before the game.
Let’s do it! Not sure when I’ll be there but we can meet at ESPN zone if you don’t want to go in right away…
I love this. I am going to post it on my blog (with appropriate credit, of course).
Oh well, I tried! LOL. Thanks A! I’ll include your blog on my list…have a summer (I’d say great, but that’s not possible).
Thanks, Waves! I’m honored to be on your list. You have an awesome blog. I’m now counting down the days until HockeyFest 2011!